Artists Anonymous

Time out from the drawing project.  Actually, I was already taking a time out from the project and read this post on Danny Gregory's blog.  It's about the voice that stops us from doing what we love.  It really hit home for me, especially since I was reading it while procrastinating drawing.  It inspired me to finally write today's post now - before I get back to what I should be doing...

Last weekend, at a farmers market, one of the vendors wrapped our purchase in brown Kraft paper.  I said "So old school.  I can use this, because..." here the voice blurted out loud "I'm sort of an artist."  . . . sort of?  Why did I just say that?!?  I've wanted to be an artist since childhood.  I've been committed to rediscovering my art since last fall.  Why is it so hard to just say it?

This blog was started with a certain amount of anonymity.  I wanted to hold myself accountable and share with supportive family and friends.  They knew who I was and that was all that mattered.  Then, when I won The Artist print from Flying Shoes Art Studio, Kristy asked me for a little info so she could blog about the winner.  Um... hmmm... not quite yet...  I ramble on in this blog, but I'm a relatively quiet observer in person (except around my loud and wonderful family).  I wasn't ready, no matter how infrequent an unknown reader may stop by.  I remained Aggie and gained a follower to the blog.

I've noticed most artist bloggers use their real names, or at least a portion of it.  I mentioned to my sister recently that I think it might be time to share my real identity.  That sounds so Clark Kent and important!  It's not THAT important.  It's just been feeling appropriate.  I still hesitated.  Then the doubting voice incident happened and then I read that inspiring post today.  Sheesh, not a big deal, just do it already!

Well, I don't really know where I'm going yet - for fun? for family? for sale? for all of that? - learning as we go along.  However, I've been at this long enough to know I don't want to stop.  I will still blog as Aggie.  It's part of a nickname Dad gave me as a child and it is still me.  However, in the spirit of any other 12 step program... 

My name is Janet Kohl and I am... an artist.

A Case of the Why's

Bear with me dear reader, as I ponder a bit today.

Why draw?  Why paint?  Why care?  Why blog?  Why? Why? Why?  On a ridiculously regular basis I ask myself why I started this trek and why my art, or art in general, should matter to me or anyone else.  Sometimes I remember the answers and sometimes not.  Sooooo, here are the top 10 wise me pep talks to grumpy me:

1) Drawing makes you focus on the details - really seeing things/people (regardless of how lovely or crappy the end result is).  A side bonus is a more vivid memory of the moment - weather, smells, sounds, conversations - because your brain tosses them back to you each time you return to that sketch.

2) There's something much more personal about creating your own view instead of snapping a photo.

3) I have a gift, regardless of how much or little talent I really have, there is some, and it's a waste to ignore it.

4) Creating/viewing art is simply therapeutic.

5) After reading the post about my artistic style, my sister commented that I do have a certain style in both my handwriting (which is horrid) and my art, no matter the medium.  I replied "sloppy?"  She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it's something to do with upbeat, uplifting... something up.  Maybe I paint in the style of a messy optimist.  Someday I'll be famous & they'll write books about the Messy Optimism movement.  Ha!

6) While we're on the subject of my supportive sibling.  I was ruminating awhile back on what useful purpose there could possibly be, other than my own selfishness, for this blog.  Then I read her post on Fierce & Nerdy - let your light shine - where she linked to my blog as an inspiration.  I can be inspiring!  Woot!  Maybe not to a whole herd of people, but to a few and that's better than none.

7)  Blogging holds me accountable - 1 reader or a bevy of imaginary readers or just me - we've come to expect a post now and then and they can't all be about quotes or art book reviews.

8) Sometimes what I create can affect another person's life.  The last lesson of the virtual watercolor journal class was painting man made objects.  I challenged myself by painting glass & plastic.  These items were reminders of Dad.  I added journaling and posted it on Mom's Facebook page in hopes of making her smile.  My aunt (Dad's sister) then commented how it touched her as well.  I was delighted to make a small difference with my dabbles of paint.

And then there's this.

9) This was my first and only oil painting.  18-year-old me painted this in the spring of my senior year.  It hangs in Mom's sewing room.  My daughter took this photo with her camera phone a few years back and posted it for all her friends to see.  There were several "She should do this all the time!" comments.  Granted, it's no master.  However, if I could do this once as a teenager, it seems important to explore what I might be capable of now, if I just stick with it!

10)  Milo seems to think every photo session is really meant for him to paw-test the sketchbook.  He has come to expect this and it's just thoughtless to disappoint the cat.

Just Add Water

I love perusing art blogs and admiring techniques.  However, I am simultaneously inspired and discouraged by the gazillion mega-talented artists out there (past and present).  I'm trying, not often succeeding, but trying, to not put "real" artists on a pedestal.  Well, they deserve a pedestal I think, but maybe not up there eye-to-eye with Lady Liberty.

If I had my druthers, I'd be an instant master artist... *poof* ...just like that.  Heck with practice, persistence & patience!  I want to do it all right now and be an expert by tomorrow - at all of it.

I want to:
  draw like Leonardo da Vinci or maybe like Dirk Dzimrsky.
  watercolor like Steve Hanks or Viktoria Prischedko.
  bring oils alive like Kristina Havens or John Singer Sargent.
  wield color pencils like Holly Bedrosian.
  create fun and fabulous illustrations like Mattias Adolfsson or Andrea Joseph.
  fill fantastic art journals like Brenda Swensen or Joanne Sharpe.
  bravely alter books or maps like Kristy Patterson and Claire Brewster.
  do simple daily sketches like Elizabeth Perry.
  produce whimsical pages like Lori Vliegen.  (By the way, I bought that little book, which is actually meant for kids, just so I could play too.)

I could go on and on and on - acrylics, pastel, sculpture (wood, clay, metal), calligraphy, charcoal, pottery...

See?  So much to admire, so many intriguing options - so little time.  Somewhere in my brain, the aspiring artist has now picked up the bullhorn... "Ma'am, please step away from the pedestal!"  Okay - back to the sketchbook.

Happy Doodle Cats

Day one seemed a successful start to this journey.  Then Tuesday was crazy and I was tired, so stuck with happy/silly faces.  Wednesday was long & I was tired, so it was a doodling day.  (I justify it as showing my imaginary readers that you don't have to do realistic drawings to keep a sketchbook.)  Today was busy & long and I just got to my sketchbook at 9 pm.  My brain - "Now what?!? Don't you deserve a break?"  The other side of my brain - "NO - Don't give in already.  Draw EVERY SINGLE DAY!" ... sigh

a few of the faces

So, instead of deciding what to draw I grabbed the Drawing Lab book and did the first exercise - draw a bunch of really quick cats... I mean quickly draw a bunch of cats.  I believe you're then supposed to play around with your favorite one - redrawing, adding color and such.  I'm making the rules & I declare this lesson a two-parter.  Part one is done & so is this day!

doodles

1 of 30 cats  

D(raw) Day

I woke to my brain yelling "YOU'RE GOING TO DRAW TODAY!" . . . sigh.  Yup, Open the Sketchbook Day aka D(raw) Day aka Aaaaaagh Day had arrived.  I was thankful today's incredibly busy work day kept my mind off the looming first page.

The perfectionist in me wants to point out
mistakes, but I'll just say that those are kids arms,
not little extremities growing from her shoulders.

I arrived home later than usual, ate chocolate, put on comfy Fall socks and picked up a relatively "new" sketchbook with three drawings in it - from 1998, 2000 and a few months ago.  Now what?!?  I stared at the beginnings of a nose I'd been sketching from a magazine ad.  No more thinking!  Just grab the 4B & start shading already!  My first scratchings brought annoyance & impatience for the page to be done and perfect.  Then the familiar mantra crept into my brain - forget what it is, just stick with the lines and shades.

45 minutes later . . . time to be done.  Ah - back in the groove and I've brilliantly let you know so I can't start slacking off already.  However, in an effort to avoid driving you nuts or bore you completely, I will initially post 2 or 3 times a week, maybe less if that gets irritating.  Whatever the results -  comical or sad or wonderful - I'll share stories or photos or both as we trek forth.


PS - Did YOU draw/sketch/doodle today?  Smiley faces, stick figures or random designs count too.  It's not what you do, but that you JUST DO.

The Art of ProcrastinArting

 Continuing from the last post . . .  The nudging of my daughter began working on me.  I researched books to revive my artist.  I bought An Illustrated Life, Drawing Lab for Mixed-Media Artists and Sketchbook for the Artist.  All wonderful, but the first was especially inspiring.  Hmm - yes, I could start a new sketchbook, but I didn't - yet.

The final tipping point, that final heavy straw, if you will, was an unexpected sale on Prismacolor pencils.  I had a 60 piece set from my college days, but many are nubs and some are lost and I've long wanted a new set.  We were traveling and shopping and I was in the mood to splurge.  So I did.  On the drive home, I sampled the new pencils in an old sketchbook I'd begun carrying, but never used.  My brain began scheming how I could "do" art again.  I formulated a plan - document the lovely colors of my new and old pencils.  Get the feel of it again.  Then, I'd finally be ready to create.  So, I organized my pencils by color and made pages of shades & lines.  Hmm, now how would they look in number order?  More procrastinating. . .  Come on already - you need to be held accountable!  Then I stumbled upon a few art blogs via Pinterest.  AHA!  I already blogged (infrequently).  I could do this.

Well, imaginary reader - you and me - yep, we're almost there.  Almost to D(raw) Day & we're going to kick this artist in the indigo blue heinie!

ProcrastinArting - Page 1 of 8

ProcrastinArting Page 7 of 8

WAIT - don't go yet.  Speaking of kicking in the heinie... A few of you have mentioned wanting to join this journey.  Well, now is the time people.  Grab a sketchbook, journal or random notebook & a good pen/pencil.  We'll start together Monday.  Prior skills NOT required.  Make your own rules.  Sketch, doodle, write, or draw blindfolded.  It's not about what you can do - it's about DOING!  So let's DO!

ProcrastinArting

Ponder.  Plan.  Dream.  Set goals.  Imagine.  Buy art supplies.  Organize art supplies.  Make excuses.  Change goals.  Get preoccupied.  Dream some more.

I want to revive my art.  My procrastinating perfectionist nature is tripping me up.  The last artist on this list is soooo me.  The ways to avoid putting 4B pencil to acid free paper are nearly limitless & I've nearly exhausted those ways.  Time to get off the proverbial couch and just do it already!   Well, not quite yet . . .

The journey commences on (insert dramatic sound effect) . . . September 24, the first Monday of Autumn.  I'm completely weary of heat & Autumn's relief makes me joyful!  On that day the artist will be given permission to open the sketchbook and venture forward.  In the meantime, read "What is this trek?" for my very short backstory.

This next week will be used to share a few of the hangups and a few of the nudges (shoves) towards creativity.  Stay tuned dear reader (or imaginary persons I've dreamed up to be readers... or Mom, Susan, Amy & Becca) - whoever has read this far - stay tuned.