A Good Man

In recent posts I've mentioned my pop-in-law's medical crisis.  It has now come to an end and I feel compelled to share.  Bear with me.  This is an art blog and I'll include how my artist was affected, though it seems a small thing compared to his struggle.

2014 will always be the year without spring.  Flowers bloomed, leaves appeared, and nests were filled.  We scarcely noticed.  Early tulips held no joy.  Recent irises are melancholy.  I couldn't draw spring.  I managed a few other pages.  Some held concerning objects like prescription bottles and hospital masks.  Others, though not medical, will forever be markers of the ordeal, such as the day we took my pop-in-law back to the hospital or the moment of hope at the nursing facility.

Days and weeks passed.  Improvements were fleeting.  Father and son are close, having farmed together since forever.  The growing concern weighed on my husband.  My sisters-in-law came often, but between visits relied on us for information - worrying at times from afar.  I had no desire to sketch or even cook.  We existed on a drive thru diet to and from the hospital.  We watched my pop-in-law's health sink beyond hope.  There was little comfort in food or nature or art.  I've seen other bloggers draw their loved ones in the hospital.  I couldn't.  The man in the bed was not the spirited, jovial man I had known for 30 years.  To draw him now seemed a betrayal.

Al lived a long, good life and was a man of faith.  He was a husband, father, grandpa, farmer, veteran, dancer, welder, crooner, poker player, bowler, galushki maker, and favorite uncle.  Extended family was precious to him.  He was quick-witted and had an amazing knack with one-liners.  He was ready to lend a hand or give advice.  When he offered praise, it was honest and true.  He was grateful for harvest field meals, but it took years to earn a firm compliment of my cooking.  What a day of victory that was!  I will miss our banter.

We are in process of digitizing old faculty files in my office and last week I came across a lovely comment regarding the 1941 death of the university president.  The sentiment expressed suits my pop-in-law...

My son aptly stated yesterday - It's still sad and weird, but we will be alright.  Healing will be found in each other and, to some extent for me, in sketching life continuing around us.

Our Day of Color

My pop-in-law entered the rehab facility yesterday.  He responded quite well and showed obvious relief to be out of the hospital.  Optimism was rampant.  Last night I felt ready to dive back into Sketchbook Skool and tackled a colored pencil assignment.

Early this morning it was back to ICU with a not so great prognosis.  Whatever happens, I thank the good Lord for our one day of color.

Crisis and Recovery

My pop-in-law has been hospitalized for nearly a month now.  It's been a very tough ride for him and difficult to watch.  However, within a week he will be released to a nursing facility for continued recovery and rehab.  This is wonderful news!

The tractor sketch in the previous post was done hours before we took him back to the hospital in April.  Since that time, my heart hasn't been in a creative place.  While my sisters-in-law were in town & on hospital duty one evening, I rode along to help my husband with farming tasks.  A little time sitting in the pickup resulted in the first pages in 3 weeks.  My fingers felt heavy and the voice in my head was awfully loud about how not-so-great it was, but whatever.  In the end, it was a bit of needed therapy.

These are both in my little Moleskine - first pen & watercolor of a houseless farm in the distance.  Those little brown things are box cars, which are often used for storage.  This paper doesn't like watercolor washes.  The second page was fairly quick - recording what I could see in the side mirror as my husband finished up the field.  Didn't have time to add the bottom half.

There is hope again.  We look forward to some sense of normalcy and a little bit of boredom.  As I told my sister today, considering the past two months, boring is awesome!  Maybe we can get back to the house updating soon and I can move into the studio room and my pop-in-law can sit in his living room again and cuss about the wheat price.

Tractor vs Roller Coaster

Momentary break to post a quick sketch of my hubby in the field.  This was drawn shortly before the roller coaster plummeted and we took my pop-in-law back to the hospital last week.  Lots of little ups and big downs since then.  Coasting right now and that's not so bad.

My Oxygen Mask

Rollercoaster medical stuff.  Ongoing home renovation.  Sketchbook Skool.  Everyday life.  In all honesty, it can be a bit much.  I whined in Skool that it's been difficult finding time for daily journaling and when I did have time, my mind was in "No" mode.  "How do I fight this?"  My query was answered by Danny Gregory - our main Skool instructor.  He kindly responded that journaling during critical times can be the best times:  "Making art may be the best way to slow down, take a breath, and unwind. It's not selfish if it makes you feel in balance. 
Failing that, give yourself a break. If it's not a welcome distraction or a way of getting insight, then maybe you are seeing trying to draw as yet one more burden, one challenge too many."

I read that and my first response was "Hey, I don't want to give up!"  Then, "Well, maybe I should back off."  Then, "No, I need to rediscover the zen in sketching."  So, I picked up my small Moleskine and a pen, walked into the garage, and sat on the floor.  My husband likes home repair and carpentry, but I find it mostly tedious.  He's seriously crazy busy with work and worry about his Dad.  The baseboards must be done before the carpet guys come on Monday.  So, I'm sanding baseboards.  I needed to sketch the blasted sander.  As usual, I started out tense and annoyed.  However, each mark was less forced and a certain calm settled in.  Adding the bits of watercolor balanced the scales and I was ready to return to reality.  Sketching with pen is a little wonky, but I honestly don't care. 

In case of emergency -

Put your oxygen mask on first so you can then help those around you.

Sketchbook Skool Bravery

Home renovation continues along with worrying about my pop-in-law's medical issues.  We're on another roller coaster ride.  C'est la vie.

Along with the ceiling painting and pharmacy runs - Sketchbook Skool started Friday.  This six week course is taught by six different artists who keep impressive illustrated journals.  I'm really looking forward to seeing the videos of their processes and learning new techniques.  Week one is already quite inspiring in spite of my lack of homework time.

I finally did a little sketch yesterday and an illustrated page this evening.  If this is going to be a long term habit, it needs to be less time consuming than the pages I did for last year's online watercolor journaling class.  So, I tried less for perfection (whatever that is) and more for just getting the image on paper and adding journaling.  This took maybe 30 minutes.

I was feeling awfully intimidated from the moment I entered the class a few days late and saw all the absolutely fantabulous pages, some by very seasoned artists.  Then I got over it.  I had an inkling I wasn't the only one, so I posted the following to the group's Facebook page:

An observation on feeling intimidated: 

The fantastic work of my klassmates was ridiculously intimidating at first.  I'm a little out of practice, but not a beginner.  Still, I kept thinking "I have no time.  How can I measure up?"  I've seen some similar comments.  I finally kind of yelled at myself "We are all unique & this is NOT a competition!"  Then I did a 5 minute sketch between errands.  Skool is about learning a wonderful lifelong habit.  In addition to our teachers, we learn from each other.  Every artist has their OWN voice and journey.  How boring if we were all at the same point of the journey and drawing in the same style. 

I'm blown away by the beginners diving right in.  You rock!  Anyone out there still hesitating?  Just start - pen to paper and then share.  Don't imagine your page has to be perfect (that's impossible anyway) or even recognizable.  It's YOUR life and YOUR art.  You know we'll be supportive and kind - offering advice when requested.  Get to it!

That was earlier this evening.  So far over 60 people have liked it and there are a bunch of "me too" comments.  Wow!  I guess it's obvious I wasn't the only one feeling intimidated.  By the way, some of my classmates really are brand new to drawing and they are doing fine.  So, random reader, you can do this too.  Grab a pen and slowly draw something simple.  Add a few words.  Illustrated journaling - it's a good thing.

Update:  127 likes and 37 comments.  Yeah, I'm definitely not alone.  Really digging the camaraderie.

Work in Progress

Update:  The medical issues with my pop-in-law kicked me out of the Drawing on the Right Side momentum.  I've done two pages of that book in the last month.  The (almost) daily little drawings in the journal continue.  Sketchbook Skool starts Friday - YAY!

The biggest news of the day, however,  is not what I'm drawing, but where I shall be doing so.  I rearranged the guest room last fall to include a little art space.  It's a nice little space with supplies nearby, but still very bedroom-ish.

We recently decided it is finally time to replace the worn carpet throughout the upstairs.  YES!  My husband suggested more durable hard flooring for my studio area. (grin)  I said - as long as we're redoing the floor, I might as well replace the dated bedroomey wallpaper with neutral paint.  He said - as long as we're ripping up carpet, we might as well refinish the baseboards.  And - as long as we have the room bare, we might as well remove the popcorn ceiling.  And - as long as we're removing that popcorn ceiling, we might as well do the same to the other two bedrooms.  And - the kitchen will then have the last of the popcorn ceiling, so we should fix that.  And - as long as we're in the kitchen working...   It doesn't end.  My husband loves updating... a lot.

That photo above is the before and below is ... Tadah!

No, it's not done, but it is about half way - just the ceiling and closets to paint before the floor goes in.  This is the cause of blog neglect and lack of drawing.  The flooring should be done by Friday.  The furnishings will take a bit longer since my hubby is building me shelves out of old fence wood (more grinning).

Back to painting - Benjamin Moore latex, not Winsor Newton watercolor.

Procrastination - Digitized & Immortalized

Eight weeks have zoomed by since I sent off the little brown book for the Sketchbook Project.  I searched their digital library today and my book is now digitized.  Eep!

I have not looked at the photos taken prior to sending the book - an attempt to make it seem "new" when finally viewing it online.  I began clicking through the pages...  Oh man, how I wish I'd not procrastinated away precious drawing time!  The cartoon figures made me want to yell "I really can draw!"  Sigh.  Another lesson learned.  Motivation for next year perhaps, or at least to keep on sketching and hopefully improving.

If there is a bright spot, the middle isn't too bad - including the appearance of my duck-talking groom.  Regardless of my regrets, here's my sketchbook story in all it's procrastination glory:

An Artist's Tale -or- Procrastination is my Super Power

The Sketchbook Project mobile library will be traveling around the US starting this month and continuing into the fall.  I would love to see the work of other artists in person, but alas, it does not stop nearby.  If anyone else is interested in seeing my book or any of the many, many others, this link will take you to the full schedule. 

Life Happens - Draw It

It's hard to get on a roll when life keeps happening.  We unexpectedly admitted my pop-in-law to the hospital for heart-related issues Tuesday.  He's getting better and will be going home soon.  I could've been sketching while tests were happening, but I lose interest when in coping mode - something to work on.

Back to the trek.  In addition to working through Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain...

I'm tackling my list of must-read art books - because that jungle grows daily.  The latest library trip unearthed a shortish book on John Singer Sargent, a fat book of illustrators from 1900 to 1960, and Webb on Watercolor, which has great tips on painting your own interpretation instead of exactly what you see.  The issues mentioned last time happened when I got to the "encounter" (now-you-do-it) pages.  Not quite ready for his loose style.  Instead, I will dive into One Watercolor a Day - a birthday gift from my dear husband.  I also happily discovered our library has Guptill's Rendering in Pen and Ink.  Yes!  Saving that until Drawing on the Right Side is complete.

I have been adding to the Live Simply planner nearly every day.  About a year ago I posted tiny drawings from a very tiny calendar.  I got halfway through the year with that one.  I'm hoping to make it all the way through this year.

There was a photo shoot Sunday.  Of course, you-know-who had to check it out.

Some entries were done rather quickly after a crazy or stressful day, as in the first photo below.  My team was awful, awful, awful and I was very vocal.  There is more (sloppy) writing than drawing on some days and others are mostly sketches - like supper on the stove.

I recorded our first portrait without the kids.  My sweater had a long cowl-type affair in front and long beads that are now immortalized as a strange medallion or something.  Also, this is not the best likeness of my husband, but it's just a sketch, so I'm posting it anyway.

I leave my planner on the end table now instead of the night stand, so I have all evening to remember it.  I still sometimes procrastinate & have to catch up.  It's amazing how much you forget after just a day.

I also signed up for Sketchbook Skool (and you can too because it's for everyone regardless of drawing skills or lack thereof).  That starts in April and we can chat about it more then.

Dread Not, Draw More

Looking at the past few weeks, it might appear this artist is veering off course or losing focus... or something.  Not to worry.  I'm still trekking - still finding my way - still making it up as we go.

I had a minor epiphany last week.  You know when you're dreading something and that dread climbs on your shoulders and pulls down your arms until you grow exhausted from the weight of it?  Yeah.  That feeling kept hitting me as I contemplated a certain watercolor exercise.  Ridiculousness.  Some trepidation or discomfort is expected with new steps and I'm sure my inner critic was exaggerating the dread, but it was just too much.  Perhaps I was jumping in too far beyond my current abilities and comfort zone.  Whatever it was, I gave myself permission to step back and change course.   Hence the minor epiphany:  New paths will cause some anxiety, but they must also cause some excitement.  The good must outweigh the discomfort.

My goal is to do something to stay on the road every day.  Currently, I'm about 1/3 through Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.  The exercises are not difficult, but they are revealing some intriguing things I never really thought about when I'm drawing.  I highly recommend this book to anyone with any desire to learn to draw or improve their skills.

My drawing table yesterday: Drawing on the Right Side workbook on the page I just completed, remnants from the Sketchbook Project and a small card my sis sent me.  The card illustration is a stick version of DaVinci's Vitruvian Man by Jeffrey Metzner.  Check him out here.  The animations are hilarious, especially The Scream.

Up close...

Several ongoing adventures are keeping me busy and I'll share them soon.  Right now, it's time to draw.

Thursday Thoughts - I got nothin'

What?  It's Thursday already!?  No, can't be.  Really?  Well, we're working on taxes in preparation for the FAFSA due date next week.  There is barely time for art.  I definitely don't have time to be brilliant or witty or even annoying.

Note to self and random rare reader:  I'm sure we're all disappointed, but Thursday Thoughts will now appear on a sporadic basis.  The brain refuses to perform on command.

Thursday Thoughts - Just Do It

Two thoughts today:

1.  The best way to forget every brilliant thought you've ever had?  Decide to share a little of your special wisdom every week.

2.  The only true failure is the failure to try.
     (This artist's version of an oft-stated idea.  I should have this tattooed on my forehead)